


A Certain Point of View

by Wissixwe



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Chewbacca and the Res..bels, Force-Sensitive Leia Organa, Gen, Hux - Freeform, Knights of Ren - Freeform, Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Rey - Freeform, Reylo - Freeform, Star Wars - Freeform, The island of Ahch'tu
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-29
Updated: 2018-08-26
Packaged: 2019-02-23 13:57:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 7,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13191531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wissixwe/pseuds/Wissixwe
Summary: I must confess I've been thinking about TLJ and how to fix things now the damage is done. The most obvious way is to have Force ghost Luke return to finish training the last Jedi. The one he failed, the galaxy's last hope...... the one we last saw on his knees.For Pandora_Spocks





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> "I cannot undo the curse, but I can soften it." (the blue fairy godmother, The Sleeping Beauty)

 

 

The door to his quarters slides closed behind him.

Ren's absolutely numb; physically and emotionally drained by all of it.

So alone, so afraid.

So *dirty*.

He goes to the mirror and stares at himself. As he feared, his dirty face shows the tracks of the tears he couldn't hold back, mapping his failure for all to see.

He hates them. He loves them.

They left him. Again.

He turns on the hot water to fill the sink below. The steam quickly fogs his image, so he uses his hand to wipe the mirror clean.

And sees Luke Skywalker there.

"You heard," Skywalker says, "but you didn't listen."

"Go away!"

"I won't," Skywalker replies, "I told you that."

"Why? Have you not done enough? You tried to kill me..."

"And you," Skywalker counters, "tried to kill me. We both failed."

"Because you *cheated*!"

"No," Skywalker corrects him with surprising gentleness, "I had an advantage, because I had the knowledge. You had no chance against that."

Ren's rage falters; his whole body sags under the weight of those words.

_Suddenly he's a boy again, taking instruction from his uncle. The feeling is gloriously agonizing; Luke is all he has left and the boy Ben wants to please him so badly..._

"Go away," Ren closes his eyes; this time, he's begging, "*please*."

"I cannot." Skywalker answers.

"Why not?"

"Because you need help." Skywalker replies. "I told you - I am not the last Jedi..."

Ren opens his eyes; the face in the mirror is his again.

"... and I'm here to finish what we started."

******


	2. Chapter 2

The door to his quarters slides closed behind him.

Ren closes his eyes and holds his breath, taking in the quiet. It’s the only sanctuary he has now.

It had been twelve hours of torture; it seemed that everyone in the First Order who had rank and power needed an audience with the new Supreme Leader. And Hux, that bastard, made sure that every one of them was given the opportunity. It was an endless drone of meaningless self-serving flattery, always followed by a request for some ‘small’ favor; all of it duly recorded.

After that, there was a series of meetings devoted to practical matters that Ren didn’t remember now because he’d spent most of that time thinking about other things.

Only one thing, really.

_Rey._

_He didn’t understand, and he was *desperate* to understand._

_When the moment came, he chose *her*. She was there, she saw him choose her. And then she chose *him*, or he thought she did. They fought for their lives together. And when it was all over, when they’d won, he was so sure that they would be together forever…_

… _then she went for the lightsaber._

_After that, he couldn't remember much; the lightsaber slipping out of his grasp, a loud noise, then nothing. When he awoke, she was gone._

_She had the chance; she should have killed him. But she didn’t._

_He didn’t understand. If he could only understand, maybe the feeling would die._

 

Ren takes a breath; his moment of quiet is over. He opens his eyes.

“I know you’re here,” he says aloud, “so just get on with it.”

Forceghost Luke materializes in front of him.

“And how was your day?” Luke asks wryly. “General Hux keeping you busy?”

“Hux,” Ren growls, "wants me dead. He can’t just kill me, so he’s trying to bore me to death.”

“From what I saw,” Luke replied, “his plan could work. Admit it, you never wanted this.”

“Yes, I did.” Ren lies. “Yes, I do.”

“No,” Luke counters, “all you want is to understand.”

“Damn you - are you listening to my thoughts now?”

“Why,” Luke’s question drips with affectionate contempt, “would I want to waste my time listening to your thoughts? All you think about is that silly, stupid girl.”

_Silly. Stupid._

Ren is instantly angry. He’s careful not to show it.

_Luke wasn’t there; he didn’t see it. He didn’t see her courage before Snoke. He wasn’t a witness to how fierce she was in what had to be the first *real* fight she’d ever been in. Luke doesn’t know her at all..._

“I will destroy her.” He says.

“Amazing!” Luke mocks him openly. “That’s something you two have in common; everything you say is completely wrong. When she was with me on Ahch’tu...”

“Ahch’tu?”

“Did I just say that?” Luke asks.

“Yes. You. Did.” Ren answers like a man who’s just won a prize. “The first Jedi temple; you found it, didn’t you?”

“The temple? Well, yes,” Luke admits somewhat reluctantly, “but I think you should know...”

Ren isn’t listening.

He goes straight to his workstation and slaps the comlink excitedly. He doesn’t wait for the voice on the other end.

“Prepare my personal transport.” He commands, “*Immediately*.”

Forceghost Luke is still standing there, but Ren no longer cares about that; his thoughts are totally focused now on where he is going and what he needs to take with him. He tosses everything into a small sack, then goes directly to the door and out, ignoring Luke completely.

The door to his quarters slides closed behind him.

Forceghost Luke lingers for a moment; a small grin on his face becomes a laugh as he vanishes.

“See you there, kid.”

 

………..

 

 

 

 

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

The office door slides open.

Armitage Hux looks up from his workscreen; his stern expression masks the sense of relief he feels to have an excuse to stop.

"Sir," his aide says cautiously as he enters, "did you receive the report? Supreme Leader is gone."

"Yes," Hux replies with feigned indifference, "I heard it. Where did he go?"

"Unknown." The aide sounds less nervous now that the door behind him has closed. He approaches his commanding General, stopping just short of touching the desk, then leans over with familiar confidence. "He disabled all the trackers before jumping into hyperspace."

"As we expected."

"Yes,” the aide nods slightly in agreement, “but now we have no way to locate him if necessary, and some of the command level staff have expressed... concerns."

"Tell them that Supreme Leader is...” Hux pauses, considering his next words. “… on a spiritual retreat. He wants privacy; it is not our place to question his actions."

"Yes, sir."

"Anything else?"

"No, sir "

"Good." Hux lowers his eyes to his workscreen again. "You are dismissed, Colonel, I have work to do, and so do you.”

The aide smiles knowingly, but says nothing. He made this choice a long time ago, and Hux’s climb to the top brought him up with it. It’s too late to change course now, anyway; they’ve come too far and the ultimate prize is only one step, one more act of treachery, away.

He salutes, then leaves.

The office door slides closed behind him.

Alone again, Hux stares down at his work screen again, but it’s impossible to concentrate on the material there. The endless stream of facts and figures fades; soon it is lost in foggy afterthought as Hux congratulates himself on how quickly his latest plan has worked. Kylo Ren, Master of the Knights of Ren, Snoke's chosen apprentice, the new Supreme Leader, has fled the throne because he couldn't stomach even one week in the job. The years spent tolerating Ren’s abuse and infantile behavior had taught Hux exactly how to to make Snoke’s whining man-child Brat so miserable that he actually ran away.

He ran away. In record time, too.

Now the Brat was running to someplace unknown, but that didn't matter; all that mattered was that Ren was running straight into his own death.

The device that would kill Kylo Ren was a small stroke of genius from the security division's assassination team; all of whom died not long after its delivery in a catastrophic transport mishap that was still “under investigation”. A significant sacrifice, yet worth it; now no one remained who could testify who ordered the device made in the first place.

_Well, almost no one remains..._

Hux smiles. It’s an easy matter to correct when the time is right.

The device is hidden deep inside the Supreme Leader’s ship power core; installed but not activated, it’s just a lump of metal and composite. Lifeless. Nothing. Neither the ship’s sensors nor the Brat would sense it. The beauty of that was, when Ren's ship reaches its destination, lands and powers down, the device will activate spontaneously.

It will send out a location code; then it will detonate, taking the entire power core with it.

The explosion will mimic a crash perfectly.

_It will be over in milliseconds; not even Ren will see it coming._

Then, after a reasonable amount of time, the First Order will receive an “anonymous” report of a crash site filled with First Order debris. A team will be dispatched to investigate.

_So tragic. So necessary._

Hux shakes his head in mock sorrow, then laughs out loud.

At first, he’d been tempted to kill Ren in the void of hyperspace; he savored the thought of this Not-So-Supreme Leader’s fragmented body drifting in the nowhere, missing forever. But that wish had to remain unfulfilled; Supreme Leader couldn't just disappear because without confirmation of his death, no one else could step up to take his place. So, in order to claim his rights as Supreme Leader, Hux had no choice but to kill Ren in a manner that assured discovery. Whatever remains discovered would be returned, identified, then given the same treatment that Snoke received.

And a new Supreme Leader, the right one this time, would take the throne.

_Supreme Leader Hux. At last._

Hux breathes deep with anticipation.

He pulls open the center drawer in his desk and lifts out a small metal cube. It fits in the palm of his hand comfortably, like a precious jewel; shiny and smooth, and except for a single tiny dark sensor, it has no markings at all. No one would ever suspect that such a small, beautifully simple thing was the key to achieving ultimate power.

But it is.

Soon the tiny sensor would light up; its soft red glow would mean that Kylo Ren was dead.

Hux stares at it lovingly.

 _This is_ _almost too easy. Now all_ _I have_ _to do_ _is_ _wait._

……… _.._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi. I hope you're enjoying these little "clips" from a movie you'll never see, and are filling in the spaces between with your own ideas. Please leave a comment if you are, even a :-) will do just fine; it's lonely out here.


	4. Chapter 4

The knock on the door is cautiously frantic.

“General?” A familiar voice asks. “Are you awake?”

Leia Organa is awake. Dressed and waiting.

They’d been here for less than a week; hiding out in an isolated village deep in the wilds, on an unimportant planet where Chewbacca had friends. In the aftermath of their escape from Crait, it was the Wookie who stepped up to take charge, bringing Leia and the few remaining members of the Resistance here, to a place of seclusion and safety where they could rest. Sanctuary here was an old migrant worker barracks; a place made for the desperate and disillusioned, abandoned now, its sad little bunk rooms had little to offer beyond solitude.

Leia opens the door.

“I’m sorry,” Kaydel Connix speaks quietly, almost whispering. “to wake you, General.”

“I wasn’t asleep.”

“It’s happening again.”

“I know.”

Leia steps into the dark hallway, then shouts the door behind her. Solitude will have to wait; she’s needed again.

They walk together in silence; there’s no need for explanations.

As they turn into the next hallway, Leia sees exactly what she expected to see; the walls and floor seem to be alive. The rotting boards are trembling, vibrating, squeaking and creaking in protest, as if caught in a terrible storm.

Which they were.

As small group is huddled at the far end of the hallway; their terrified faces brighten at the sight of their general coming to their rescue once again.

Leia and Kaydel walk to the same door they went to before and stop there.

“Nobody could get it open.” Kaydel explains.

Leia puts her hand on the broken door handle; it stops shaking instantly and submits to the turn of her hand, admitting her. She steps inside, then closes the door behind her to keep Kaydel and the others outside and uninvolved.

Then she walks toward the bed.

She has to walk carefully because the room is a swirling mass of random things; an invisible whirlwind is raging around the girl sleeping there.

_Poor Rey..._

Leia reaches Rey's bedside unscathed, then leans over and shakes her gently. It isn’t enough, so Leia shakes her a little rougher.

Rey opens her eyes. The invisible whirlwind ceases instantly. Things drop to the floor.

She looks up at Leia.

“You,” Leia tells her, “were dreaming again.”

“I know.”

“Was it the same as before?”

“Yes,” Rey’s voice is watery; she’s fighting tears, “as before, and the one before that, and the one before that...”

Leia sits on the bed and puts a comforting hand on Rey’s shoulder. Rey sits up abruptly, fleeing from her touch.

“I can’t help it,” she sobs, “no matter how hard I try not to, I just keep seeing it.”

“I know.”

Leia does know; she keeps seeing it, too. The burst of light, bright, burning, the sudden shock, the pain, then the darkness. It’s why she cannot sleep.

_It’s Ben._

The dream is as merciless as it is relentless; it knows that Leia still loves her son.

She puts both of her hands on Rey’s shoulders this time, then pulls her close and hugs her. They’re sharing this nightmare for a reason, but until Rey is ready to talk about it, there’s nothing Leia can do.

The dream is as merciless as it is relentless; it *knows*.

“I can't make it stop,” Rey murmurs; it sounds like a confession starting, “I can feel...”

She cuts herself off, as if the words forming in her head are too terrible to to say out loud.

“I know,” Leia replies, “I know.”

“Tell me what to do.” Rey pleads. “I don’t know what to do.”

Leia has no answer.

They stay like this for a long time, bound by secrets they're unable to share yet. Perhaps it’s the quiet, perhaps it’s the company, perhaps it’s that no one’s ever really gone, but for no reason in particular, Leia remembers something.

“I dreamed,” she whispers, “of an island...”

……….

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are these little "clips" working? Am I giving you enough to build your own story?


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ComicCon and then "Infinity War" (yes, go see it!) had my attention, sorry for the delay.

The door is open

Ren is alone in the transport, so there’s no need to bother with doors; out here in hyperspace, he’s free from the unrelenting torture of being Supreme Leader. He’d been spared having to accept Snoke’s personal transport because *she* stole it, so he chose this one for his new personal transport himself, right out of the First Order fleet, over Hux and the others' protests that it was ‘beneath him’, mainly because of its modest size and deceptive appearance.

He can be alone here.

It’s an 'Ambassador" Transport; an older design that camouflaged powerful weapons systems behind meaninglessly ornate hull embellishments; graceful metal flower buds that bloom into blaster ports, curving metal trellises that slide back to reveal rocket launchers, all painted in bright, friendly colors. It looks ridiculous, but Ren doesn’t care; it's fast, comfortable and absolutely lethal, which is all he needs for this trip, or any trip, for that matter.

He rolls over, then swings his legs over the side of the bed to sit up. He’s still so tired. It’s not that he can’t sleep, it’s that he can’t *stay* asleep; when he sleeps, he dreams, and when he dreams, it’s about *her*. All she does is call his name, over and over, until he wakes up and she’s not there and he realizes it’s only a dream.

If it is only a dream. He doesn't know for sure.

One thing he does know is that, right now, he’s on his way to the First Jedi Temple and everything Luke Skywalker left behind. Whatever it is, it's Kylo Ren’s property now, and once he has studied every text and taken every artifact apart, he’s going to destroy it all.

And then, he hopes, the past will die.

He makes his way to the cockpit wearily, then slumps into the pilot’s seat. The transport’s still in hyperdrive, but soon it will drop into normal space, in the star system where the island Ahch'tu awaits him. He’ll take over for the approach and landing.That’s something to look forward to because he loves every second of it. The anticipation gives him a shot of energy; soon he’ll see it, the last world Luke Skywalker touched…

**“I failed you, Ben. I’m sorry.”**

Ren closes his eyes in disgust. Skywalker’s *back*.

“Finally,” he groans, “I wondered how far you'd let me come without you.”

“You’re almost there,” Luke says, “but there’s still time to turn around and go back.”

“Listen, dead man,” Ren opens his eyes, but doesn’t turn. He has no desire to see Skywalker’s face; that face reminds him of so many things - too many things - that he doesn’t want to remember. “I *will* go back…” he attempts a menacing pause even though it’s directed to someone who’s far past being menaced by anything. “… when I’m *done* here. And there is nothing you can do about it.”

“Well,” Luke replies with surprising cheerfulness, “in that case...” His translucent presence slides into the empty seat beside Ren. “… you don’t mind if I hang around for the rest of the flight, do you?”

Ren lets out a deep, resentful groan. He has no choice; there’s no way to get rid of a Forceghost who doesn’t want to leave. Skywalker is mocking him.

“Do whatever you want,” he finally dares to look at his unwanted copilot, “I don’t care.”

“Good!” Luke settles into the seat, “Been a long time since I’ve done this. You know, I think I’ve missed it.”

“I’m sure you did.”

The transport alert system chimes. It’s almost a melody; a short series of bright, musical tones that irritates Ren, but makes Luke chuckle out loud. Suddenly they’re gazing out into normal space, and in the distance ahead, a bright ball of blue and white beckons.

“There it is.” Luke says quietly.

Ren can hear the shift in his tone; Luke’s become serious, almost *somber*. Ren wonders if perhaps now that he’s seeing the world where he died, Skywalker realizes that soon everything he ever accomplished soon will be dead, too.

Ren steals a look; Skywalker’s staring ahead, no, looking ahead, seeing the future, *feeling* it.

A flash of compassion aches through Ren; it’s painful to see the old man this way. For a second, Ren lets the memories flow, remembering a time before he and Skywalker were enemies. This was the man who told him stories and taught him about the Force, the man who had limitless patience, who listened and advised and comforted the miserable and unforgiving child that was Ben Solo.

“It’s a pretty little world,” He offers weakly; it’s all he can think to say. “I can see why they chose it.”

“They didn’t choose it,” Luke answers, “it chose them.”

It’s an unexpectedly odd thing to hear; Ren waits to hear more.

“Then,” Luke continues, “it chose me.”

“It chose you?” Ren asks. “For what?”

“I don’t know yet.”

Ren stares at Skywalker in confusion. Luke notices it, but says nothing.

The planet is looming straight ahead now, demanding Ren’s attention. Luke watches him in silence as he makes the course corrections that should lead him to the island. The transport dives into atmosphere, through the clouds, then speeds over the restless seas below until a steep and jagged little island appears on the horizon.

Ren doesn’t have to ask; he can *feel* it.

“Ahch’tu.” He says it with confidence; he's not seeking confirmation. He *knows*.

“Yes,” Luke sighs breathlessly, “Ahch’tu. You can still turn back.”

Ren ignores him.

“All right, then,” Luke says loudly; his tone more commitment than resignation, “we'll do it the hard way.”

Ren hears him, but he’s too busy right now to ask what that means. It’s final approach.

He brings the transport down fast, deliberately overshooting the only landing site he can see in order to bank hard and come about, then spiral down gracefully to land the ship so perfectly that there's only a minor thump when it makes contact with stone. He's showing off, of course, like he used to do back when they would travel together, and he can't resist a look to see if Skywalker remembers, but the expression on Skywalker's face is not the one he expected to see at all.

Luke leans toward him with an outstretched hand, only to to pull it back again. Then he stiffens, as if bracing himself for something, looks directly into Ren's eyes and warns him sternly.

**"This is going to hurt."**

……….

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments needed. I'm flying blind here.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ready or not, here it comes...

The cockpit doors slam shut.

Metal scrapes metal, giving out a high-pitched screech as the emergency override does its job; the cockpit is sealed off from the rest of the ship.

Three seconds spent. Tick. Tick. Tick.

Ren’s fingers sting; he hit the emergency keypad much too hard and the composite cube bit back. The act was reflexive, a conditioned response to a verbal cue, learned long ago when Ben Solo was the Padawan and Luke Skywalker the Jedi master.

**_This_ _is going to hurt._ **

He searches the Forceghost’s translucent face for a sign, but the Jedi’s expression is indecipherable. Whatever Luke knows, he is unwilling - or unable – to share because, even when a being is one with the Force, there are restrictions and rules.

Luke can’t interfere, but he can leave.

Yet, he doesn’t.

Tick. Tick. Two more seconds spent. They see only each other now, silently sharing the cruelest of truths.

Luke loves his nephew. Ben loves his uncle.

Tick.

The cockpit lurches forward violently, like a raging monster suddenly free. Ren tries, but fails, to grab onto anything; he’s instantly slammed against the sealed cockpit door and pinned against it. Helplessly hanging there, he hears explosions through the metal; on the other side of the door, his ship is being utterly destroyed.

Then he feels the heat.

The back of his head, his shoulder blades. His ass. All pressed against the white-hot metal that's scorching through his clothes. He fights the scream, but it rips its way out of his mouth. His mind goes numb as shock sets in and it all becomes a dream…

A horrible thump rescues Ren from the door, and he falls forward, then down and crashes onto the metal floor. It’s hot, not white-hot like the door, but he’s fading now, though, and hardly aware of it against his face.

Another horrible thump, and Ren’s falling again; this time to crash against the ceiling. Another thump and he’s back on the floor, then back on the ceiling...

Through the fog in his head, Ren realizes that the cockpit is *tumbling*; the blast must have broken it off completely intact, and now it’s rolling away from the fire and certain death, rolling away from the horror. He manages to grab hold of the pilot’s seat armrest and that stops the crashing into, but the cockpit is rolling fast, and picking up speed. It’s not going to stop until it smashes into rock, or even worse, reaches the cliff and goes over it.

All he can do is hold on.

Tick. Tick. Tick.

A bump, a bounce and then terrible quiet. The ship is in free fall.

Ren’s holding on, but his hands and arms are tired and failing him. The sound of air rushing past outside as the cockpit drops toward the End is curiously calming.

He hopes he won’t feel it.

**_Don’t be afraid. The Force is with you._ **

It’s *Luke*!

His uncle’s voice envelopes Ren; it wraps around him like a soft blanket, protecting him. Ren wishes he had the strength to talk; there’s so much he wants to say, but he’s exhausted and empty and ready for the End.

He closes his eyes and tries one last time to reach out and touch the Force…

There’s a deafening *splat*; the sound is vulgarly juicy, as if the world just belched. It’s a powerful jolt; Ren loses his grip, flies upward, then drops. Floor or ceiling, he doesn’t know which, meets the back of his skull, and as consciousness is slipping away, he hears the rhythmic sound of waves against sand…

Tick. Tick. Tick...

………..

_To be continued…_

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short, yes. Partly because there's no time and partly because, if I've done it right, you're feeling it in real time, right now.


	7. Chapter 7

The cockpit opens with a horrific squeal; the reinforced metal twists, then snaps.

A single beam of blindingly bright sunlight falls on Ren; through the fog in his head, he senses the warmth on his face and turns toward the source.

It’s a blur.

He knows the door is open now. He’s been vaguely aware of the activity outside for some time; bangs and crashes as something worked to get it open, and voices, too. Garbled sounds that might be words passing through the barrier mimicked conversation, but those sounds have taken on a frightening tone now.

The door has been breached; Ren sees shadows moving in the glare.

Instinct and fear make him reach for his lightsaber; he moves his right hand to try, only to be stopped by unbearable pain. Something is broken; he’s not sure what, but it hurts like hell. For a moment, he lies very still; that lessens the worst pain, but not the throbbing ache that pinpoints exactly where the damage is.

His wrist.

He braces himself, then tries to move his hand again, but it’s agonizingly impossible.

_Broken. Useless._

The pain clears some the fog in his head, and he remembers that his lightsaber isn’t even here because he was alone, totally safe, so he’d put it away for the flight. It’s up there somewhere, lost in the wreckage of the rest of his ship. He groans at his stupidity, then forces his mind to go past the fear, past the pain, into a state of calm.

 _I need no weapon._ He tells himself. _I am the weapon._

“Who are you?” He demands.

One of the shadows moves toward him. It’s quickly joined by others, and Ren can hear the muffled sound of feet moving on metal, but he can’t identify whose because he’s never heard this sound before.

It’s more slap than stomp.

And there’s an odor. He has no trouble identifying that.

_Fish._

The shadows arrive; they arch together over Ren like a curtain closing. He’s in the dark again.

“I,” he begins the warning, but his voice is feeble, “am...

He doesn’t get to finish because a huge, scaly hand reaches down and grabs him by the wrist.

The broken one.

For an instant, a split second that he won’t remember, the pain is all there is, then he’s out cold.

Again.

…..

“ _Ben.”_

“ _What?”_

“ _You have to wake up now.”_

“ _Where are you? I can’t see.”_

“ _Wake up, Ben. Wake up.”_

“ _You’re fading; don’t go.”_

“ _Now, Ben...”_

…..

 

Ren opens his eyes.

The fog in front of him is bright blue, and his back is pressing against something soft and damp. A small shadow gliding through the blue fog calls out, and Ren realizes that he’s on his back looking up at the sky.

He’s outside, on the ground, lost in the fog. Alone.

He tries to sit up, but the instant he tries to use his hand, the pain knocks him down. That lifts the fog in his mind, but not the fog that’s blinding him. He remembers it all now; the flight, the visit from Skywalker; the explosion.

He knows what happened. And why. And who.

_Hux._

A weird mix of emotions floods through Ren.

_Hux, you bastard… I made it so easy for you… I’m an *idiot*…_

He doesn’t realize that he’s saying it out loud.

… “you’re going to die _…”_

“ **Who’s going to die?”**

Ren stiffens. It’s Skywalker’s voice.

He looks around, trying to see the Jedi, but his eyes won’t focus; blurs of green and gray surround him on three sides, but the forth is all blue. He’s on solid ground, but near the sea, and he has absolutely no memory of anything after his wrist being grabbed.

“I can’t see you.”

“Oh.” Luke replies from somewhere. The voice is coming closer. “I’m not surprised,” The Forceghost emerges from the fog, coming into sharp, luminous focus as it comes close, then stands looking down at Ren, “not even a skull as thick as *yours* could hit a wall that hard without cracking.”

“I was in the cockpit...”

“Yes, you were.”

“How did I…?”

“The natives pulled you out.”

“Natives? Where?”

“Gone.” Luke leans over to examine Ren’s condition, “They were just about to cut you into little chunks to use for bait when I showed up and scared the daylight out of them.” He looks away, as if toward something, then straightens up. “I guess I have some explaining to do...”

“You can start with...”

“Not to *you*,” Luke cuts him off; he’s already walking away, “to *them*.”

“What about me?”

Luke stops, then turns around.

“Yes… what about you?”

“You’re just going to leave me here?”

“Now that I think about it,” Luke replies, “Yes. I am.”

His aim is perfect; Ren sags like a deflated balloon, and just lies there.

Without a word, Luke comes back, kneels beside Ren, and very gently takes hold of his left wrist and guides it. Ren feels the cold, damp, rough-smoothed surface of hammered stone.

“*This*,” Luke tells him, “is the first Jedi step.”

Ren looks up automatically, but all he sees is a gray blur set between green blurs.

“What you came here for...” Luke whispers. Ren knows what the Jedi Master is doing, but he doesn’t resist. “… _what you need_... is up *there*.”

“How far?”

“Does that matter?” Luke asks. “It’s all *there*, Ben; right where I left it. And it’s all *yours*, for the taking.”

He releases Ren’s hand, then stands and looks up.

“All you have to do is get there.”

Then Luke’s gone.

Ren lies very still, one hand on the first Jedi step, the other utterly useless by his side. He can’t really see the steps, and the gray swath of stone goes so high, it feels like forever. At first, the idea seems impossible, but then he starts to think.

_Everything I want… everything I need…_

……… _.._

_to be continued..._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My other story needs my full attention for awhile, so please bear with me. In the meantime, think about the symbolism of the Jedi steps and what the climb will be like. You're invited to share your ideas!


	8. Chapter 8

_Is that eleven or twelve?_

Ren’s not sure anymore; not how long he’s been working his way up the steps, or how many steps are beneath him now.

All he knows it that he’s exhausted.

The ‘climb’ has been excruciating; he can’t see where the steps begin and end, and found out on his first attempt that he couldn’t climb the steps the normal way. His first step was also his first fall, and he was lucky that it only resulted in a great deal of pain, but no new injuries. Lost in pain and trembling uncontrollably, he could hear himself wailing like a wounded animal.

The humiliation filled him with rage. Rage gave him purpose.

So he tried again.

His second attempt was much less ambitious. As he was sitting with his back against the step, he realized that it might be possible to use his long legs to push his ass up the rise and deposit himself on the step backwards. Once there, he’d need to use his left hand to measure how deep the step was so he’d know how hard to push with his legs again, which meant letting go of his broken wrist for a few seconds. Those seconds came at a high price, too; no matter how carefully Ren made the movement, the broken wrist would always shift against his chest, so he’d take a deep breath and hold it, teeth clenched tightly, to keep himself from screaming.

That left him a little light-headed and dizzy afterwards, which helped him endure the pain.

_Twelve. It *has* to be twelve._

He turns his head as far as it will go to look at the gray blur above. The gray twists and curves, then disappears as it rises, only to reappear higher up. Although he can’t really see any detail, Ren realizes there are many more steps to be climbed than he imagined before he started. The thought drains what’s left of his rage, and he lets himself fall over onto his side to rest on the step where he is and closes his eyes in defeat.

Not even the throbbing ache in his wrist can keep him from falling asleep…

 

_Ben Solo is miserable._

_He’s sixteen years old now, and already taller than his master; his gangling arms and legs seems to have wills of their own, and he’s having real trouble with his training. He’s painfully aware that some of the other Padawans at the academy make fun of his clumsiness; some of them even mock him to his face about it._

_Ben tells himself its because they’re jealous; they all know that Ben Solo is the Jedi Master’s nephew._

_He tells himself it’s because they’re jealous of his power._

_But it never helps._

_He’d come up here to be alone. The thick, thatched roof is gently sloped and comfortable; from here he can spy on happenings below or just lie there and gaze up at the sky._

_Nobody will see him here.  
_

_Suddenly, Ben senses his master's presence. He didn’t think Uncle Luke knew that he came up here, but now that his master is standing there looking down on him, he feels foolish about that._

Uncle Luke will always know. That’s just the way it is.

_Master Luke sits on the thatch, then slides carefully down until he is sitting next to Ben, but doesn’t look at him. Instead, Luke leans forward and looks down at the activity below, then sits back and gazes up at the sky.They stay like this for a long time, until Ben cannot stand the silence any longer and tells his master - his uncle - how miserable he is with a question that admits nothing, yet reveals all._

“ _Why,” he asks, “does everything have to be so *hard*?”_

“ _I’ve asked myself that same question,” Luke replies, “many times.”_

“ _What’s the answer?”_

“ _The Jedi path is never easy; only the strongest will make it all the way.”_

“ _With the Force, *right* ?” Ben asks, but the question rides on a current of resentment and frustration. “Everyone tells me that I’m *strong* with the Force, but nobody lets me *use* it.” He looks down on the Padawans playing below. “I’m already more than any of *them* can ever be, but I’m not allowed to show them that.”_

“ _Great power,” Luke replies, “is a great...”_

“ _Responsibility.” Ren interrupts him bitterly. “Yes, I know.”_

“ _Your gift is also your burden, Ben; one day you’ll understand.”_

“ _But they *laugh* at me - they think I’m a *liar*.”_

“ _Want to know what I think?”_

“ _What?”_

“ _I think,” Luke reaches over, brushes Ben’s hair back, away from his face, just like he would when Ben was very young, then closes his fingers around the unruly curls, “that it’s time you got moving again.”_

_Then he yanks. **Hard.**_

 

Instantly awake, Ren automatically tries to raise his right hand to touch his head at the pain, but the broken wrist punishes him immediately. The agony paralyzes him; for a few seconds, he’s frozen in the grimace of a silent scream and when he finally takes a breath again, he almost faints from the effort. He lies on the stone step motionless, afraid to move; remembering where he is and why.

And he smells something; the odor is revoltingly pungent.

_Fish._

He moves his head slowly, following the trail of stink, and sees that he is not alone. There’s something moving, something alive, standing much too close. It makes a single hop in Ren’s direction, landing into perfect focus, and Ren sees a beady-eyed little animal, not bird, not mammal, but a mixture of both, covered in blocks of colored and white not-feathers, not-fur. It’s almost adorably cute, except for the the fact that it also has a mouthful of Ren’s *hair* in it’s not-beak.

The little hair thief whistles something that sounds like an insult, then turns and scurries away. Ren watches it go, but it doesn’t go very far; it stops abruptly at a little patch of sticks poking out of the rocks and drops Ren’s hair there, then hops out of sight in the rocks beyond.

_A nest? Maybe eggs? *Eggs*…_

The thought of food, no matter how disgusting, energizes Ren. Keeping his broken wrist against his chest, he rolls onto his side and uses his legs to push himself toward the supposed nest. It’s painfully slow going; the rocks scratch him raw in places and slimy plants paint his clothing with stinking green stripes.

But he gets there.

With his back against the final rock between him and his quarry, Ren uses his legs to brace himself, then carefully twists his body until he can look over and down.

_Empty._

He groans out loud at his stupidity; he’s pushed himself so hard to get here – for nothing!

He’s turning away, defeated, ready to sag against the rock to rest when light falling on something in the nest catches his attention. A narrow strip of light colored 'something' spirals down into the sticks as if woven there. Ignoring the pain, Ren maneuvers himself so he can get his left arm down there to touch it.

_Soft… cloth!_

He manages to to grab the strip, draws it upward through the sticks until it’s completely free of the nest, then stares at it in disbelief. It’s one continuous strip of pale woven fabric that must have been a recent addition because it’s *clean* and dry – and more importantly, it’s *long enough* to wrap around his broken wrist!

_Use the sticks for splints; stabilize the break… relieve the pain…_

He’s totally focused now; choosing the strongest sticks, arranging them, winding the cloth around his wrist, then between his thumb and forefinger, then back to the wrist again and again until he reaches the end. As he’s drawing the last of the cloth through the winding to anchor it, he gets the feeling that he’s seen this cloth before somewhere, but the feeling drowns in the rush of determination that his bandaged wrist *finished* inspires.

Ren takes a deep breath, then starts back to the steps.

He doesn’t see the Porg that’s watching him from a rock not far away. The little creature warbles quiet approval, then fades like a dream.

 

The first lesson is over, but there are more to come.

…….

_to be continued..._


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A very short chapter, bootstrapping here. Sorry I was gone so long. Gorey details after.

_It’s getting late._

Ren doesn’t know how long he’s been at it, but he thinks he’s more than halfway there. That is, of course, if his memory of how the island looked as his shuttle approached it is accurate. That moment feels ancient now, and he can’t be sure that it isn’t just wishful thinking.

But he’s made a lot of progress. Slow, painful progress.

The step he’s resting on has to be fairly high up because the blue-green blur of the sea is a wider blur now. Its color has changed considerably, too, but that’s because the bright blur overhead, the sun, has been climbing, too. It passed Ren awhile ago, and he’s afraid that it will slip behind the island before he’s finished this insane climb, abandoning him to darkness.

Alone.

He knows he has to get moving again, but he’s exhausted and his legs don’t want to obey. He’s demanded too much of them. Focusing completely on the task - first one step, then rest, then two steps before rest, then three, then four - pushing every other thought from his mind until the effort became a mindless cycle of progress and reward. The reward is a period complete rest, sitting motionless on his achievement until the pain subsides enough to start again.

It’s in these moments that Ren has visitors.

The rocks are teeming with life; the little beady-eyed hair thief below turned out to be one of many creatures that hopped and scurried all over the rocky cliffs. They’re a raucous mob, too; the only time they seem to stop squabbling with each other is when they notice Ren and all that hostility has a new target. They squawk, they flap their useless wings, they clack their beaks; some even try to squirt him with excrement. But it only lasts a minute or so because they see Ren as no real threat, get bored, and go right back to whatever it was they’re fighting about.

And this time, Ren watches.

He can see the one closest to him clearly. Its head is swinging side to side as it looks at Ren, then looks away and down at something in the tangled green between the rocks, then back at Ren as if it cannot decide what to do.

_I wonder…_

On the next swing, Ren avoids eye contact by looking aside, and the little beast whistles softly and turns away, then hops into the green and begins rooting through it feverishly. In seconds, it is so completely preoccupied that Ren risks a cautious slide in its direction to get a closer look at what it’s doing.

_It’s *eating*!_

The creature’s efforts have exposed a layer of vibrant purple that was hidden beneath the green; it’s gobbling through the purple as fast as it can, cutting a tiny trail as it moves.

It tunnels under the green and vanishes from sight.

Ren slides again, this time with purpose. He’s so hungry and desperately thirsty.

He reaches down, pushing the green aside, then plunges his good hand into the purple.

Berries. Big, *juicy* berries...

He closes his fist around as many as will fit, then yanks; the berries slide free of their stems easily, and in seconds, Ren is staring down at them.

_What if…_

It’s a classic dilemma; the berries look and smell so good that he could barely stop himself from popping them into his mouth immediately, but it would be a truly stupid thing to climb all this way only to poison himself…

Rustling nearby startles him, and he lets the berries drop to the stone beside him. Before he can pick them up, the little beast leaps from the green to get at them.

“Eat well, Beady Eyes,” Ren says to it, “at least they’re good for somebody.”

Beady Eyes looks up at him and lets out a long, loud belch. Then it sits there, just staring, as if it’s waiting for something.

Ren looks at the stains on his palm where the berries have bled some juice.

_Maybe a taste..._

He knows he’s being stupid, but the voice in his head is confident and he is so thirsty...

He licks.

The taste is sweet with an aftertaste… It’s remarkable. It's *irresistible*.

Ren doesn’t think; he pushes himself into the green and makes a trail of his own until he’s dragged himself well away from the steps and tunneled deep under the green. He’s lying there in complete bliss when the thought occurs to him that the berries are than just sugar and water… a *lot* more.

And then he’s asleep.

 

Not far away, the Porg sits atop a rock, preening itself casually as it waits for a sound. It will come soon, racing ominously over the sea like thunder from a terrible storm.

A starship will descend, entering the atmosphere, coming this way…

And Luke Skywalker is ready for them.

………  
_to be continued..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, I'm getting better. It was a kidney stone, a kidney infection and Sepsis. Not much fun, but I did experience some weird hallucinations during the worst of it.


End file.
